**Diary Entry**
Mum called, her voice thin and childlike, the way it gets when somethings wrong. Charlotte, can you come over? My heart dropped straight to my stomach. Id heard that tone beforewhen Grandad passed. Back then, wed scrambled for black clothes (only William, my older brother, had anyhis teenage phase refusing all other colours), crammed into a stuffy train, and wandered aimlessly through a gloomy flat. Grandad had been a painter, surrounded by admirers, yet in the end, only his daughterMumwas left to bury him. Her voice had sounded exactly like this.
Whats happened? I asked, nerves twisting as I pictured Edwards reaction if the wedding had to be postponed again. Last time, Id gone skiing with friends and broken my leg. Hed shouted himself hoarsehis parents had booked flights, arranged leave, and there I was, reckless after all his warnings.
This time, though, it wasnt my fault. Still, guilt gnawed at me.
Grandmas ill. Just back from hospitaltests arent good.
I knew about the tests, of course. Had Mum led with that, Id have been gutted. But as it was relief washed over me. No one had died. The wedding could go ahead. Better yethurry it along, while Grandma
My throat tightened. Unthinkable. Grandma had always been there. Mum said when Grandad left them penniless, Grandma worked triple shifts just to keep Mum fed. Only when Mum turned seventeen did the great artist deign to help, but those early years? All Grandma. Even now, she slipped us moneyhow, on her pension, Id never know.
Ill come.
Grandma put on a brave face, even cracking jokes. Dont fret, love. Theyll do chemomight help. Shame about my hair, though. Had this plait all my life. Cant picture myself without it.
Her hair *was* gloriousthick, long, though silvered in recent years.
Lets dye it for the wedding, I offered. Youll be the prettiest there!
Her eyes lit upthen she fumbled for her purse.
Grandma, no! Ill cover it.
Nonsense, weddings costing a fortune. Take it. She rummaged in her cupboard, rustling bags before pulling out a small pink one. Three months knitting this. Eyes arent what they were. Her voice trembled, waiting for approval.
Inside lay a delicate ivory shawlslightly old-fashioned, unbearably sweet. I decided then: Id wear it.
Its perfect.
Your mum said you wouldnt, Grandma muttered. Never satisfied, that one. Made her a yellow dress onceraglan sleevesand she spilt ink on it *just* to avoid wearing it
Her voice shook. I lied smoothly: Mum said it was an accident.
We drank tea, dyed her hair, lost track of time. My phone, abandoned in the hall, buzzed unnoticedwhod call today? Then the doorbell rang.
William stood there with his mate James, holding a box. Inside, a ginger kitten blinked up with curious eyes.
Martha, look what weve brought! James beamed.
Grandma gaspedthen burst into tears.
Three years ago, her beloved cat, Marmalade, died. Twelve years her companion, his loss shattered her. Shed refused another pet since.
James, love, Im dying! Whatll happen to him?
Oi, none of that, William cut in. No ones throwing him out. And youre not going anywhere.
Whatll I feed him? Havent even got milk!
Ill go! I said.
Ill join, James added. Fancy a bite anyway.
Id have rather not been alone with himsomething in his gaze unsettled me. Handing him a wedding invite earlier, hed taken it stone-faced: Pity. Id hoped I stood a chance.
But no fuss in front of Grandma. And dragging William along seemed daft. Off we went.
Worry wastedJames stayed quiet. Only murmured, Hope she pulls through. When I asked if Edward would come, he just said, Course.
We bought cake and pasties (Grandma scoffed: I fry better). William praised her hair; James stared, spellbound, as I modelled the shawl. A lovely eveningshame Mum was on shift.
Then I checked my phone.
Edwards messages. Id forgotten dinner with his parents. He was furious.
I *told* you I was with Grandmashes got
Shes had her time, he snapped. Dont wreck ours. Mums devastated.
I rushed home to placate him. William drove; James stayed with Grandma.
The row was brutal. Edward called me irresponsible, selfish. Spotting the shawl, he sneered: Tacky. Youre not wearing that.
We fought nonstop till the wedding. Then Grandma was hospitalised. I suggested cancellingno heart for celebration. Edward snarled about lost deposits, paid-up venues, *guests travelling*. Let her rest. Shed only be in the way.
I knew he hated the shawl. Knew Grandma wouldnt be there. But photos lasted. Shed knitted it for *me*. Id wear it.
Darling, why that *tablecloth*? Mum fretted. Such a gorgeous dresswhy spoil it? I know its Grandma
She wept. I soothed her, fixed her makeup. Edwards arrival distracted her*nothings ready!*
Id loathed the gimmicksdoll on the car, ransom gamesbut his parents insisted. Waiting, nerves raw, I called Grandma.
Visit me? she whispered. Id love to see you.
Of course! I said, though Edward wouldnt share my joy. Whos got the kitten?
James took him. Good lad
James was driving us todayWilliam vowed to get plastered. Why hadnt I seen how kind James was sooner? Too late now.
Edward saw the shawl and exploded: Take it off! Disgraceful!
Guests gawked. My cheeks burned.
Stop. Its *my* wedding too.
My wife obeys me.
Im *not* your wife yet.
Mothers fluttered, mediating. But suddenlyI didnt *want* him. His nitpicking, my shrinking self to please him
Im going to Grandma.
Youre *mad*, he hissed.
I shoved past. He grabbed my wrist, grip cruel.
*Dont you touch her!*
Jamess voice. He glared, fists clenched.
Piss off, Edward spat. *My* wife*our* business.
Then William punched him. Grabbed my hand. To Grandmas?
Chaos eruptedshouts, curses. But I didnt care. I followed William, thoughts only for Grandma. I caught Jamess eye, silently beckoned. He followed, chasing us down the balloon-strewn steps
*Lesson: Love shouldnt demand surrender. The ones who matter never make you choose.*
