The Longing for Freedom
«Mum, someones knocking at the door! Can you get it? Weve got our hands full,» called Emily from the kitchen.
«Of course,» Natalie replied with a quiet smile to herself.
She opened the door without glancing through the peephole. On Christmas Eve, it was always children carolling, so she expected to see another eager young face.
But when she swung the door wide, her breath caught. Standing there was David her ex-husband looking at her with the defeated eyes of a stray dog. A duffel bag sat by his feet, stuffed with what she assumed were his belongings.
«David,» she managed, voice rough. «What are you doing here?»
He flashed a smiletoo bright, too forcedbefore ducking his head, staring at his scuffed shoes. «Hello, love. I missed you. Thought Id spend the holidays with my family.»
He reached for the bag, stepping forward, but she barred his way with a sharp lift of her hand.
«I didnt invite you in.»
His smile faltered. «Come on, Nat. Im back. Isnt this what you wanted?» He spread his arms wide.
«Back? Just like that? What about the last year and a halfdo you think that just disappears?»
Davids face darkened, and Natalie remembered the way her heart had shattered. Irreparably.
…Fifteen years ago, theyd married young and moved into a rented flat in Manchester. Life had been simple, happy. Both worked, money was steady. A year later, twin boysOliver and Jamiearrived, loud and full of mischief, exhausting her but filling her days with love.
Thirteen years slipped by. The boys grew tall, nearly matching her height, but their laughter remained the same. David, though, changed. Late nights, business trips, excuses. She told herself it was workstress, deadlines.
Then, one evening at the supermarket, she saw him.
He was supposed to be in Birmingham. But there he was, in the spirits aisle, laughing as a young woman kissed his cheek and dropped something into their trolley. Natalie froze, breath trapped in her chest. She watched from behind a display as he pulled her close, whispering things that made her toss her head back with laughter. They paid, climbed into his car, and drove away.
Natalie stood there, pain like ice in her veins. Her life had just derailed.
Somehow, she dialled his number.
«Hi, love. Hows the trip?» she asked, voice steady.
«Nat, hey. Swamped here. Ill call you later, yeah?»
«Alright.»
She finished shopping, went home, cooked dinner, helped the boys with homework, tucked them in. All while staring at her silent phone.
A week passed. No word. When the day of his return came, she sent the boys to her mothers. She knew what was coming.
The door opened. David called out, playful, «Nobody home to welcome Daddy?»
Her voice was steel. «Who is she, David?»
He blinked. «Who?»
«I saw you. At Tesco. A week ago.»
He sat across from her at the kitchen table. «Charlotte. A colleague.»
«How long?»
«Nearly a year. But Nat, youve got to understandhomes just noise. The boys are always sick or shouting. You dont see me anymore. Charlotte she gets me. Doesnt ask for anything.»
«And what have I asked for? The impossible?»
«Youdishes, shelves, leaks. Im sick of it. Im in my prime, and I need someone who
«Im their mother first. They need me. Youre a grown manyou knew what this was!»
«But its boring. Life with you is grey. Im tired. I dont love you anymore.»
The words hung between them.
«What about the boys?»
«Plenty of families split. Ill pay child support, see them weekends. But I want freedom.»
«For them, itll be hell. Stay. Please.»
«Im done.»
He packed a bag. Left.
…Now, seeing him on her doorstep with that same duffel, Natalie almost laughed. He had no idea what the last year had been like. The boys crying, calling, getting no answer. The pittance he sent as «support.» The extra shifts she worked to keep the lights on.
«You said we were dull,» she said.
David brightened, stepping forward again. She didnt budge.
«I was wrong, love. Forgive me.» He reached for her hand; she pulled away. «You were my anchor. Charlotteit wasnt love.»
Footsteps. Oliver peered into the hall. «Mum, whos?»
Then Jamie. «Dad?»
David grinned. «Lads! Im back. Got presents too. Lets spend Christmas together!»
He moved to step inside, but a heavy hand clamped his shoulder.
«Maybe next time, mate. Christmas is for family, yeah?»
Natalie smiled at the man behind himher Christopher. Tall, steady. The boys rushed to hug their uncle Chris as David gaped.
«Should I stay?» Chris murmured.
She shook her head, smiling.
As Chris led the boys back to the living room, David found his voice.
«So thats it? Traded me for some bloke twice my size?»
«Not traded. Chose. When I was free.» She held up her left hand. A wedding band glinted.
His face twisted. «You begged me to come back!»
«A year and a half ago. My lifes different now. Merry Christmas.»
She shut the door, locked it, exhaled. Then she turned toward the warm light of the flattoward her sons, and the man who loved them all.
